Healing      

You may be thinking .....Okay, so I had an abortion. But that is in the past. Do I really need to be healed?"   

Some women may never need to work through any kind of healing process. But for many of us, the memory of abortion lies hidden in shame, weakening and impairing us in ways we may have never realized were related. Is that true for you? See if you recognize yourself in some of the following questions:

  • Do you feel reluctant to talk about the subject of abortion, or do you feel guilt, anger, or sorrow when discussing your own abortion?  

  • Do you tend to think of your life in terms of "before" and "after" the abortion?  

  • Do you have lingering feelings of resentment or anger toward people involved in your abortion, such as the baby's father, friends, or your parents?

  •  Have you found yourself either avoiding relationships or becoming overly dependent in them since the abortion? Are you overly protective of any children 

  • Have you begun or increased use of drugs or alcohol since the abortion, or do you have an eating disorder?

  • Have you felt a vague sort of emptiness, a deep sense of loss, or had prolonged periods of depression?  

  • Do you sometimes have nightmares, flashbacks, or hallucinations relating to the abortion?

  • If so, it is likely you are experiencing pain related to your abortion, many times it is referred to as "post-abortion trauma."

     How Do I Heal?

Grief is a process and the healing journey after an abortion is unique to each of us because we are all different in ways we cope with trauma.   Some may have already adapted various coping mechanisms after an abortion.  Others may need help beginning the healing journey.  Although there are no fixed steps, the following may be helpful:  

           

 

 Side Effects of Abortion Video

 

 
 

How Do I Heal?

Grief is a process and the healing journey after an abortion is unique to each of us because we are all different in ways we cope with trauma.   Some may have already adapted various coping mechanisms after an abortion.  Others may need help beginning the healing journey.  Although there are no fixed steps, the following may be helpful:  

  •  You must acknowledge the uniqueness of your child and the meaning of that pregnancy.

  •  Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of your child.

  •  Tell your story.

  •  Give yourself permission to explore your anger, depression and need for forgiveness.

  •  Name your baby.

  • Write a letter to your baby, saying all the things you need to say. This may include asking the      baby's forgiveness or forgiving your baby for coming at an inconvenient time.

  •  Memorialize your loss, using whatever is meaningful to you in making your baby more concrete.

  •  Ask a minister or priest to lead you in a memorial service.  After most abortion recovery Bible studies, a memorial service is conducted for the group.  You may want to purchase something to keep, such as a piece of jewelry or a tree to remind you of the child.

  • Creating pieces of art, writing songs and poems are helpful for the healing process.

The truth will set you free. If you want to be truly set free from the hurt and pain after an abortion, it will be necessary to forgive those responsible for and those involved in that experience.  In forgiving others you will come to understand forgiveness for yourself.

Three key questions commonly asked by someone hurting after an abortion and needing to be resolved are:

1. Can God forgive me? 

      2.  Can my child forgive me?

3.  Can I forgive myself?

You must come to accept God's forgiveness and know of His great mercy and love.

I John 1:9 (NIV) - "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

You must forgive others.  

 Matt 6:14-15 (NIV) -- "If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive your sins."

Matt 5:23-24 (NIV) - "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother  has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, first go and be reconciled with your brother; then come and offer your gift."

 You must come to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness is about being able to suspend self-judgment and walk freely in the forgiveness accorded to you by God.

 Romans 4:4 (NIV) - "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

Embrace God's forgiveness with thankfulness and praise

Comfort others after we have been comforted
 II Corinthians 1: 3, 4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion  and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

After experiencing God’s grace and healing after abortion we will want to tell others.  Share your testimony either privately or publicly.  This in turn will give others permission to come forward and comfort them; Thus, the multiply/divide effect of the early church.