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Denise Baxley |
Denise Baxley I regret having an abortion. This experience I had almost 31 years ago is one I’ll never forget and always regret. The abortion provider never informed me of the possible emotional, physical and spiritual turmoil I would have to endure afterward. Realizing I helped murder my child overwhelmed me with guilt and shame, regardless of being told this was just a blob of tissue. I didn’t consider the life developing within me - a person who now could and should be making a significant difference in the world today. A generation was lost because of ignorance, pride, and selfishness. I was only worried about my reputation. Recurring flashbacks of the vacuum sounds, the extreme coldness in the room, the darkness and the doctor telling me, “be still or you could be hurt” while I was shaking still resound. Hearing others talking about their pregnancy reminds me of the child I destroyed. To alleviate the pain within, I made another unhealthy choice by consuming alcohol and different drugs to suppress the awful memories. When people talk about abortion the guilt and shame rises within me once more, sometimes making me paranoid that they may sense I had one. The subject follows me day in and day out. Sometimes I wished I were dead and actually contemplated suicide to end the pain within me. Relational problems between my husband and me formed. Sexual intimacy issues arose creating more problems to deal with and the list goes on and on. The problems continue to mount and the secrecy of those decisions I made carry forward in my life. I knew I didn’t want others to experience the pain and suffering I’ve had to contend with but I was too ashamed to share my heartache with anyone for 26 years. Little did I know that one woman God prompted to share about her abortion experience would open the doors to prepare me to speak out about my own. I stand before you today as a post abortive woman to say abortion hurt me and I definitely regret having an abortion. ______________________________________ Denise is excited to be working with Dail and Millie Lace at Concepts of Truth, Inc. She has been a volunteer since 2002 and recently became part-time staff. As a post-abortive woman and a volunteer on the National Helpline for Abortion Recovery, Denise is passionate about helping the hurting heal from the pain of abortion. She hears from men & women all over this nation who regret their right to choose a legal abortion. She has experienced God’s forgiveness and grace and knows that there is hope for healing. Her prayer is for the deception of abortion to end and for life to be respected as God’s gift. If you are hurting, please call 1-866-482-LIFE for free, confidential help, 24/7. Denise takes every opportunity to share in churches and with pastors the hope for our nation to heal. Statistics say that 1-3 women sitting on our church pews have experienced abortion and are silenced by their shame. John 8:32 says, “The truth will set us free”. For scheduling information, call 870-238-4329. _____________________________________________ Denise is self employed and lives in Proctor, Arkansas. She attends 1st Assembly of God Church in West Memphis and has one married son. Her first son David Michael died from abortion in 1976. |
